Somewhere along the way, fall stopped being a season and became a to-do list. Pumpkin patch pictures. A perfectly decorated porch. A house full of pumpkins. A charcuterie board shaped like The Sanderson Sisters, which, sure, it was cute. But also… who has time?

I used to start September feeling like I was already behind on a season that hadn’t even started yet. I’d scroll through everyone else’s cozy, perfectly styled, golden-hour version of fall and get that little voice in my head saying, “You should probably be doing more.” More decorating. More traditions. More pictures. More everything.

And the funny part is, nobody ever actually asks me to do any of it. I was just comparing my regular, messy, busy life to somebody else’s carefully chosen 30 seconds on the internet.

So I tried something different. Instead of asking myself, “What am I supposed to do for fall?” I asked a much simpler question: What actually makes fall feel like fall to me? Not Pinterest. Not Instagram. Not somebody else’s perfectly decorated house. Me.

And honestly, the answer is easy. There are a few little things that make me feel like fall has officially arrived. There’s specific candle scents I only let myself burn starting in October. I know. They’re candles, but saving them for fall makes that first time I light it feel like a little event instead of just another day.

Taking drives when the leaves start changing. Sun shining, coffee in hand, no real destination, no need to take pictures or turn it into content.

And there’s chili. For whatever reason, it just tastes like fall to me. That’s it. Those are the things I actually care about. And family time, of course.

I don’t need a pumpkin patch photo shoot anymore. Although if we go, I’m still taking pictures. I don’t need my front porch to look like it belongs in a magazine.

And I definitely don’t need to spend the whole season trying to prove that I’m enjoying the season.

There’s something about seeing everybody else’s version of fall that makes you feel like you’re supposed to be doing all of it, too. And when you’re not, it’s easy to start feeling like you’re behind. Like maybe you’re not trying hard enough. Maybe you’re not making enough memories. Maybe you’re not doing enough for your family.

Maybe everybody else’s life just looks a little more put together than yours.

But really? It’s just noise. My real life isn’t Pinterest. It’s not perfectly styled. It’s not always cozy. And sometimes the leaves are changing and I’m busy doing laundry, and that’s okay.

I’d rather have three little things that I genuinely look forward to than fifteen things I feel like I should be doing. Because three things I actually enjoy feel a whole lot more like fall than fifteen things I’m exhausted trying to check off a list.

So if you’re heading into a new season already feeling like you’re behind, maybe don’t ask yourself what you’re supposed to do. Ask yourself what actually makes the season feel like itself to you. Maybe it’s a candle. Maybe it’s a drive. Maybe it’s chili. Maybe it’s sitting outside for ten minutes when the weather finally gets that little bit of crispness in the air. Maybe it’s something nobody else would think twice about. But that’s kinda the point.

You don’t have to have the internet’s version of the season. You just need yours. And maybe this year, we can let that be enough.

With love, 

Mindy